Ten Attributes of a Mentor

TEN ATTRIBUTES OF A MENTOR

What is a mentor?   The dictionary definition is “a wise and trusted counselor or teacher.”

I think of a mentor as a resource, an ally, a professional encourager.

Here are the top-ten attributes of a mentor, according to me.

1. Passionate                  Yes, an overused adjective -- but being a mentor is serious business, and you wouldn’t                                                 wait to be lukewarm about someone’s heartfelt purpose. 
   
2. Predictable                For example, phone greetings -- the live kind:   “Beautiful day!  This is (your name)!”  or                                               “Yeah, who’s this.”  It’s very reassuring to someone seeking counsel to believe their                                                        mentor is, at the very least, on an even keel -- better still, joyfully welcoming life.
   
3. Accessible                  This just means people don’t have to wait more than a day or two for a response to a                                                    text, email, voicemail.
   
4. Great Listener       Listening well is the greatest single skill predictive of success in anything.  This means                                                 asking questions, then asking expanding questions, then asking questions related to                                                     someone’s very specific next purpose.
   
5. Shines the Light on Others       When I’m mentoring someone is not the time to regale them with                                                      stories of my infamous youth-- or even detailed timelines on my success history.  Turn                                                the klieg  lights around.
   
6. A Paced Communicator There are rare life puzzles that require daily communication or even greater                                                frequency.  This is extreme -- and could become suffocating is exercised too often.  Once                                              a week or once a month is more impactful and productive.  Emails to handle any daily                                                details are an exception, of course.  I do recommend subscriber to a daily encouraging                                                quote.
   
7. Helps You Hold onto Your Greatest Purpose    This is why being a mentor is a calling, not a                                                 job --  whether there’s a charge for keeping you on the path and out of the poison oak or                                             not.  In my experience,  being gently reminded to raise my eyes from all the distractions                                             and  connect frequently with what I really want to make a stand for --  and then                                                             reminded  again, and again, and ..  You get the idea. This is the essential calling of a                                                       mentor.
   
8. Mirrors the You They Know You Can Be        When I look into the eyes of my mentor, I can see                                                 absolute belief in me -- belief in the pace of my progress, in the validity of my purpose,                                                  and in my ability to make it happen.  My mentor holds the vision for me whenever I                                                    waver -- holds up that wizard’s mirror where my reflexion is me ever more self-realized.
9. Doesn’t Accept Excuses at Face Value           Excuses are what our lower, reptilian brain recites all                                          the time, and they’re all closely related to “I’m very afraid!  Should I run and hide under                                             a rock?”  A mentor will gently coax you right up into your homo sapien brain -- to see if it                                           really is a huge mammal-eating predator or just a puzzle in your path.  Repetition of this                                            practice is how we learn that puzzles are fun.
   
10. Lives by this Mandate: Allow Your Dreams to Direct Your Choices.                                                         Letting your circumstances direct your choices (too tall/too short, too young/too old, too                                               tough/too soft, too broke/too flush right now -- any of the self-limiting prophecies we feed                                           ourselves) -- deciding your next step this way?   It’s the express route to more of whatever                                          you want less of.