Last night I woke up around 2 am, with that heart stinging, ground sinking feeling of fear. It took awhile for me to identify the source of my fear. All at once, I knew. What I was feeling was time slipping away.
We always tell ourselves that there’s still plenty of time -- to travel, to pursue a talent or inclination, to let people know how much we love them, to contribute in some significant way. Although I’ve traveled more than most, even though I love more unconditionally all the time, there are over 100 intentions posted on the wall in our kitchen -- listing all the adventures my husband and I believe life still holds for us. Unlike earlier lists, most of what is envisioned here are not things but memories waiting to be made, change waiting to be initiated, ripples in other lives waiting for the stone to be thrown into the pool.
Fear doesn’t change anything by itself, but it can be a catalyst. It’s so easy to go from item to item on the to-do list every day, to let other people impose their expectations and agendas, to go to sleep eyes wide open and without the dreaming.
I’m starting a new list today. This is a list of the baby steps I can take right now so that I can really pick up my stride before too long in pursuit of a life fully lived, a purpose fully realized.
Thank you, Beth, for waking me up even though you sleep. Thank you for putting my feet back on a path that leads somewhere worth the walking.. even though your dancing days are over.
Here’s the take-away: Live life in such a way that you continue to change other lives even after you’re gone.